I didn’t get the name of the nice lady riding with me in the ambulance since I would like to thank her.īut it also reminded me of a Steven Seagal movie, “Half-Past Dead.” Basically, we all are, according to Scripture. This experience made me appreciate wonderful medical staff who were so professional and caring. Some capable people took care of Sunday and Wednesday responsibilities for me now I’m guardedly optimistic I’ll live a bit longer. He sent me home with orders to drink fluids and rest for several days. Fever and dehydration made me pass out, he said. 911 sent what she called “five strapping Pelham firefighters” who started an IV and put me on a gurney and thrust me into the waiting ambulance. My wife said she found me in the floor early Saturday morning unresponsive. We got to the emergency room where I spent the next three hours. I was still wondering what planet I was on. Brooks, how are you feeling?” I really didn’t know how to respond. Or maybe it’s the backroads in our county that need repair. Maybe all of them need an alignment, tire rotation and balance. This film contains virtually nonstop violence.I’d never been in an ambulance. Either that, or maybe that's just the way Seagal talks now. His concession to Sascha's heritage is merely to slur his words in a hipster sort of way, as though imitating Dean Martin. To play the part, Seagal doesn't quite do a Russian accent. It should be said that the role of Sascha represents a stretch for Seagal, in that the character is a Russian immigrant. They spend the first 75 minutes of the movie firing at everybody and hitting almost nobody. The other characters - all tough, all carrying assault weapons - aren't even good at homicide. 'Deadly' heat envelops California: Here's where it will be the hottestĪt least the justice took the time to know her business.Bay Area Zillow listing goes viral showing very sad office-to-housing conversion.A California coach accused, again and again.Oakland police advise residents to reinforce doors as home invasions increase.Routes: SFO loses big route to Asian tech hub.22-year-old man dies at popular California swimming hole.‘Don’t go there’: The towering Tahoe landmark mired in decades of controversy.Hawaii has the longest lava tube in the world.The judge ( Linda Thorson) - the third woman ever to be elevated to the high court - is reduced to tears by the sociopath's perception, realizing that her life has been meaningless without a fella. That's the scene in which the sociopathic criminal (Chestnut) psychoanalyzes the Supreme Court justice, telling her that her life is empty because she put all her chips on a career and never found time for a husband or kids. In one scene in which characters do talk, the movie manages to be both offensive and shockingly stupid. Perhaps writer-director Don Michael Paul knew something when he skimped on the dialogue. Indeed, the picture has so many fights (gun, fist, karate,Įtc.) that the dialogue between fights doesn't seem like dialogue at all but like recitative in opera - the prosaic interludes between arias. In the actual experience, "Half Past Dead" is an almost nonstop bombardment of fights and explosions, accompanied by a thundering soundtrack that alternates between heavy metal and rap. And Seagal is Sascha, a FBI agent working undercover as a prisoner, who's trying to save her.ĭescribing the story makes it sound more coherent than it is. Morris Chestnut plays a disgruntled prison official who has taken over the island and is holding a Supreme Court justice hostage. Then again, why shouldn't he be depressed to find himself in a picture so badly plotted that, for at least the first 20 minutes, it's not clear who the protagonist is? When the story of "Half Past Dead" finally shakes down, it's a prison drama, set on Alcatraz Island. He seems to have lost that blissful self- satisfaction that was the foundation of his appeal. The man looks bone-tired, even depressed. Seagal is so overweight now that with another 50 pounds he could be doing wine commercials, and at the end of the movie - in the one scene in which he's shown in broad daylight - we can see he's obviously wearing a hairpiece that's so thick and low on his brow that it calls to mind Eddie Munster. What happened? "Under Siege" in 1992, and 10 years later this thing. In fact, by the end it's hard not to feel that the meaningless title is some kind of reference to the actor's career. But the most striking thing about it is the fact that the presence of Steven Seagal - who, for good or ill, has always at least been amusing - doesn't help. "Half Past Dead" is about as weak a movie as can be made without actively trying.
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